New Roots Therapy Blog

Thoughts on Life, Love, & Wellness! New Posts Every Wednesday.

Enough Time: A Story from “More or Less” by Jeff Shinabarger

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When someone asks the question, “How are you?”, how often do you reply, “Busy”? After watching this short video, I realized just how often “Busy” is my default response…I also realized just how much I don’t want it to be! The time we all have is precious and temporary. How do you want your time to be used? I hope this video will inspire you, like it did me, to reflect on how you choose to spend your time and make changes where possible so that more of it is spent on what’s most important in your life. The next time someone asks you how you are, how do you want to respond? What can you do differently to make that more likely?

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The Upside of Rejection

Written By: Corinne Carter, Relationship Therapist

It goes without saying: most of us don’t like rejection.  Rejection is often painful and can be hard on our mental and emotional well-being.  For these reasons, many of us not only dislike rejection; we fear it.  However, there are some upsides to rejection that tend to go unnoticed…

For example, when we are rejected, it frees us up for other experiences.  One might even say that rejection frees us up to be where we truly belong.  Using an example from my own life, when I was a new graduate seeking full-time employment, my application package was rejected by several employers time and time again.  Each time I submitted an application to a new job opening and heard nothing in response, I felt distressed; it was difficult not to become discouraged by all of the rejection.  Eventually, after about a year of applying, I received a full-time job offer for a position that allowed me to work from a “virtual office” and structure my own schedule, by and large.  This particular position has been a great fit for me in many ways; the flexibility of the role has allowed me to work as a therapist in private practice at New Roots Therapy simultaneously, and has made it possible for me and my business partner to grow our counselling practice over the past three years.  I’m quite certain that I would NOT have had the time or energy to continue working as a therapist in private practice, let alone grow a business, had I been given an offer for one of the many other positions I had applied to which would have required me to commute to a central office location daily, nowhere near my counselling practice.  After enduring a year of rejected applications, I found myself in a full-time position that was better than I could have imagined.

Rejection also provides us with an invitation to grow.  When we’re rejected, it’s easy to slip into self-judgmental thinking where we begin to make evaluations of our self-worth (e.g., “Of course they didn’t want to hire me, I’m not smart enough for the job”).  Instead of sliding into self-judgment which, in fact, impedes growth and change, we can use rejection as an opportunity to reflect on ourselves and ask: “Is there anything I could be doing differently to help change the outcome next time?”  Perhaps using a different approach next time around would be helpful, or perhaps it makes sense to revise your goal.  Perhaps you could take some additional training.  Whatever the case might be, rejection provides us with an opportunity to grow ourselves as individuals, which is absolutely critical to overall success.

None of this means that rejection won’t ever hurt again.  It will, and it might even hurt a lot.  However, the next time you experience rejection, we’d encourage you to try and see beyond the hurt in order to see the upsides that it has to offer as well.


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Questions to Ask Yourself in Times of Change

Written by: Corinne Carter, Relationship Therapist

Hello, Everyone!  Our brief blogging hiatus is over and we’re back in blogging action!  For the past few weeks, while we haven’t been busy writing our blog, we have been busy renovating and relocating to a new office.  We are very excited to be in a new office space and are looking forward to sharing it with our clients!  We’ll post some pictures of the new space to our blog soon.

During our recent move to a new office, a couple of things were highlighted which we thought might be worth mentioning here:

1) Friendship is one of life’s greatest gifts; friends who are willing to carry large boxes up and down awkward staircases for you, and who are willing to stay awake into the wee hours of the night helping you assemble Ikea furniture, are THE greatest!

2) Like any period of transition, moving (as overwhelming and maddening as it can be at times) provides us with a prime opportunity for reflection and reassessment of our lives.

Life is hectic for many of us.  It’s easy to get caught on the “day-to-day treadmill”, running in one place without taking any breathers to notice where you are and what you’re doing, and not really moving forward in any particular direction.  Transition periods invite us to step off the treadmill for a minute and get our feet on solid ground again.  Whether you’re going through a major transition period (e.g., changing jobs, changing homes, becoming a parent, coping with the loss of a loved one, etc.) or you’re experiencing transition on a smaller scale (e.g., changing coffee shops because your old spot closed down, switching from “work mode” to “home mode” after hours, waking up 30 minutes earlier each morning, etc.), use these times as an opportunity to check in with yourself and ask the following questions:

1) What is happening in my life right now and how do I feel about it?  What is the reality I’m currently facing?

2) How have my past experiences helped me get to where I am now (good, bad, or otherwise)?  What have I already experienced that can help me get through any current challenges?

3) Where do I want to go from here?  What path do I want to be on?  What is the vision I have for myself going forward?  What am I willing to do to get there?  What resources are available to help me move forward in this direction?

Change can be difficult.  However, taking time to ask ourselves these types of questions during periods of transition can help us to create lives that are more purposeful and, when we live with purpose, we tend to feel our best!